"The past is strapped to our backs. We do not have to see it; we can always feel it." -Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
More than half a month since my last entry. (And I didn't even post this entry until much later after I wrote it.) My motivation to write has been waning. I don't have a good excuse, except maybe that I haven't had a lot to say. I have a feeling I'll be writing less often for the next few months.
On Monday, January 31, I took my 7 month old kitten Maddie to get fixed. I felt bad because she was going to have surgery, but knew that it was the best thing for her. She was a champ on the half hour ride to clinic and didn't meow very much. Koki on the other hand has an anxiety attack each time I put her in the car and it is very hard on me to hear her yelling while I take her to the vet. The check in was pretty simple and I was impressed with how many animals this place deals with daily. I picked Maddie up after work and she looked very sleepy. I felt guilty knowing that she was in pain. When she got home, she hid under the bed and slept. I gave her pain meds before bed and again in the morning. I hope she heals quickly. Glad I don't have any animals left to get fixed.
I have had one goal for many years, to buy a house. I feel too old to not have a house and ever since I was a kid, I bought into the American dream of home ownership. So that is one of my goals for 2011. I've got my life in order to make it happen, but I'm still working out the details with the mortgage people. It may be that I have to wait another 6 months or so, but one thing is for sure, I'm going to keep moving towards my goal. I've tried not getting ahead of myself and looking at homes to closely, but from what I have browsed, house shopping looks like a fun process. So many things to think about and pros and cons to weigh. I found out that I like when the kitchen is open and value larger bedrooms as opposed to larger living rooms. It is funny how things like appliances, granite counters and a jet tub influence your much larger home buying decision. When I do get a home, I'm going to install a doggy door for sure. Maybe even an interior cat door. It is fun to imagine stuff, now it is time to figure out how to make it happen.
I read the most
interesting article the other day. It has to do with how men judge women who were once fat and now lost weight differently than women treat men in that situation.
"[Women] typically see positive change as a good thing. When people notice a frog become a prince, they tend to think more highly of the frog in retrospect," Geier said. "However, [men] rated thin women as less attractive when they were allowed to view the 'before' pictures. Seeing that a thin woman was once obese apparently detracts from her present appearance."
Sadly, this made sense to me, but I'm not exactly sure why. I hear from women that they are treated very differently based on that too. In either case, getting healthy is a good thing.
"Because the eating and exercise patterns of obese children were so different than their normal weight peers, researchers concluded that lifestyle was more closely linked with childhood obesity, than genetics."
This is pretty obvious, but I think a lot of people feel better blaming it on genetics and not their lifestyle. I worry a lot about the childhood obesity problem since it always seems to be getting worse.
So why the discussion on weight? Probably because I have been changing my eating habits and it has been on my mind. Since late December I have changed what I eat daily and have given up cokes completely. I now understand why alcoholics can't have "just one beer." I feel like if I have a coke, I'll relapse back to my 3 a day habit that took years to move to 2 a day. With an eating change and some running I've dropped about 15 pounds in a month and a half, but with 20 more to go before I hit a healthy BMI, I don't have a lot to be excited about. It hasn't been too bad, but sometimes I worry I'm just going to wake up and start eating all kinds of bad food. I haven't eaten so much salmon in my life. The Superbowl is going to be a hard test food wise. I really hope to keep the running up, which I used to not be fond of. The part I do hate is that this all occurred during the stereotypical New Year's Resolution time period. I am not a fan of resolutions, since they implicitly carry with them the understanding that most people quit. It was a change I started before the New Year, and one I expect to keep for a few more months and then I'll figure out a plan from there.
a new deal
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